"Hargraves Home and Hearth" has officially moved!

That's right, folks, the new website I mentioned in the vlog about a month and a half ago is now up and running!! :) 

You can access all new Hargraves Home and Hearth articles on the new site at:

www.hargraveshomeandhearth.com

See y'all over there! :)

Super Exciting Blog Announcement!!! :D

As you may have noticed, things have been a little quiet here on the blog as of late. Well, as soon as you watch this video, you'll know why!! :D 

With my husband's full support and blessing, I made a certain super exciting purchase this past Saturday that will greatly affect the future of the blog. Watch the video to find out what's going on and join me in this exciting journey! :)

4 Things to Keep in Mind When Your Little One Awakens at Night....Yet Again!

     Sometimes inspiration for a blog post will come to me while taking a shower, or nursing my baby, or reading a great book, or making dinner, or when getting ready for me day. But the inspiration behind this particular one came to me one morning last week at 2am. Yes, you read that correctly-2am! What on earth was I doing up at 2am? Well, nursing my baby and wondering why she was awake in the middle of the night for the third night in a row! 

     You see, from two months of age on, now 12 month old Anna has always been fantastic at sleeping through the night. Granted, she would have her nights sporadically here and there where she would awaken me and I would have to nurse her and put her back to bed. But by and large, we all began to enjoy a full night's rest in this house from the time she was about two months old.

     Then last week happened......

     Suddenly Anna was waking me up each and every night for three nights in a row! And not just waking me up by crying for a second on the monitor and then going back to sleep. No, we're talking a continuous, becoming-more-insistent, "Mama, you need to come get me!" type of cry. Each night! So, I would get out of bed, put on my robe, walk across the hall, get her out of bed, change her diaper if I thought it needed it, nurse her, put her back to bed and 40 minutes to an hour after having gotten up, I would finally go back across the hall, climb into my own bed again, and go back to sleep. 

     What was the deal? Why was my great sleeper suddenly waking me up each night? Didn't she know she was a good sleeper and understood the whole sleeping-through-the-night thing and needed to act like it? 

     I still don't fully know why she had those days last week (happy update-this week has been back to normal pretty much!). One of the nights she was indeed wet, but the other nights I don't fully know what the problem was. She may have been unexpectedly hungry, may have had a bad dream, may have been unable to get comfortable, or may have just needed Mommy time. But as I sat there in my rocking chair in her nursery that morning at 2am, I pondered on the implications of being up with my daughter. I pondered on how, at times before when she would wake me up in the middle of the night, I would grumble and complain, roll out of bed angrily, get frustrated that I was losing sleep when my child was so not a newborn anymore and not sick, etc. so should not be having trouble sleeping, and reluctantly go feed her and tend to her (and then lament to my husband later about what a selfish, horrible mother I was for that attitude! Ever been there? ;) ). 

     But yesterday morning was different. Because, in God's grace, four thoughts in particular suddenly went through my mind that hadn't fully stuck in the past during those nighttime feedings. Four lessons which encouraged me, which brought new and fresh and Biblical perspective, vision, and purpose to that moment, and which, I pray, will encourage you fellow Mamas who are right there with me in the trenches of those sleep-depriving middle-of-the-night feedings and baby-calming times. 

1. Remember Those Ladies Who Would Give Anything to be Awakened in the Middle of the Night by a Crying Little One, and Ponder On How Very Blessed You Are!

     

     I know, Mamas, how very hard it can be in the moment of sleep deprivation to remember this, but we would all do well to think on just how very blessed and privileged we are to have such a precious cause for middle-of-the-night or early-morning awakenings! I know ladies who have miscarried, I know ladies who want children right now and do not have them, I know ladies who were never able to have children. And as hard and as not-very-fun as the interrupting sounds filtering through the monitor can be to us sometimes, those ladies would give anything to be in our shoes. To have to get up with a sweet crying babe, to hold that baby close and nurse that precious little one or rock that sweet child back to sleep. So, before you get out of bed grumbling and frustrated and angry (as I have more than once, I'm sorry to say!), the next time you are awakened by that cry or have your "me-time" cut short by a suddenly now early morning riser or short nap taker, just take a second to imagine life without that little blessing. Imagine a quiet life full of long stretches of glorious sleep or uninterrupted time for yourself, but with no John or Emily or (you fill in the blank). It makes you extra thankful and helps you with your tendency to grumble, doesn't it? :) 

2. Those Times with Your Children are Moments and Memories You Wouldn't Have Otherwise!

     We all hear (and say!) how quickly little ones grow up, how you blink and your child has gone from newborn to infant, you blink again and the child is now a toddler, you blink again and your child is starting school, and so on. This truth naturally makes us a little (or a lot! ;) ) sad and sentimental. But think about this for a moment: in this fast-paced world where we go to bed with a newborn and wake up with an infant crawling around, those middle-of-the-night "interruptions" are extra moments you get with your child that you would never ordinarily have! They are memories which, if both of you had had the pleasure of a full night's rest, you never would have been able to make! As taxing on our bodies and spirits as those sleep-depriving moments can be to us, I think that sometimes they are a special little blessing sent to us specifically by God to touch the Mama's heart within us all. Because, ladies, He knows us! He made us to be nurturing, sentimental, and emotionally attached to our children. He knows it hurts our hearts to see our babies grow too quickly. And, so, I believe that sometimes He chooses to allow our sleep to be "interrupted" so that we might catch an extra little moment with our quickly-growing little ones in the current stage in which they are. Time will come when we all have empty nests and are able to catch up on any sleep we may have lost in these sometimes very difficult early years. But when that time comes, our sweet babies won't be babies anymore and we'll look back on today with fondness and longing for that precious time when our babes fit so perfectly into the crook of our arms or into the length of our laps and we snuggled close and drank deep of the scent of their hair as we calmed them back to sleep as only a Mama can. <3 

3. It Truly Won't be Like This for Long!

     There's a popular country song with this sentiment, and it is so true! As much as it felt sometimes like those newborn days of feedings every two to three hours around the clock would go on forever, I look back now and am shocked at how fast they flew by with Anna. Just when you feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel or no return to continuous sleep all night long, you leave the tunnel and are amazed at how short it was! So, no matter what your cause for being "interrupted" yet again-a colicky baby, a teething baby, a baby who just needs snuggles, a baby who just needed a short cat nap, or what have you, it won't be like that for long! Remember that, embrace the moment, and soak it all up as much as you possibly can. Because, again, you'll blink and gone will be the days of interrupted sleep.

4. Your Little One Wants (and Needs) You!

     I don't know about you, but there have been times when Anna has awakened me in the middle of the night and it has made me downright grumpy. A kind of grumpy that I really do not like about myself and that is just plain ugly, to be perfectly honest! I think I even remember desperate silent prayers of, "Dear Lord, I know You can, so please do, get that baby back to sleep!!!" But here is what the Lord spoke to my heart in the stillness of that early morning not long ago: "She just wants you." You see, our little ones are not waking us up at inopportune times because they're wanting to intentionally ruin our night, cut short our sleep, and be mean and selfish (though we act as if they are!). No, in times like those, if anything, it is I who am being the selfish one, not my daughter. She just wants her Mama. She just needs to know that, in spite of the darkness of the room or the stillness of the night, her Mama is still there, and she is never truly alone. Her Mama is just across the hall, available to come to her when she just can't get back to sleep or she's suddenly hungry or has had a bad dream. And so I, the grown-up, "self-sufficient" Mama needs to take a moment to consciously stoop down to my daughter's level, consider how she is feeling, what it would be like to be in her shoes in that moment, and just scoop her up and love on her. While she is still little. But for a moment longer....

In Conclusion

     I understand how you feel, Mama. I know what it is like to just want to be able to stay in the comforting warmth of your own cozy bed, rather than up tending to your crying baby.....yet again! But may I encourage you today, friend? This time is special. It's precious. And it's fleeting. All too soon, it will be gone. So, savor it, by God's grace and through His strength. Because, while you can always get your full night's rest back again, you can't get this sweet time back again. 

Interview with Kristen Lisemby Lee of Where Joy Is Ministries!

There is a brand new feature here on the blog that I am so excited to be launching today! That new feature is a great new series of interviews with wonderful Christian women who are inspirational blog writers and who are running encouraging Christian ministries through their writing. I'm so excited about sharing with you all these ladies who have been an inspiration to me, and who I'm sure will be a blessing to you, as well!

Today, the first lady we have the privilege of hearing and learning from is Kristen Lisemby Lee of Where Joy Is Ministries. Rather than telling you all about Kristen and her blog ministry, I'll just let her do that! 

So, grab a cup of tea, sit back, and enjoy as we learn from Mrs. Kristen Lee. 

1. For those here who may have never been to your blog before, could you begin by introducing yourself to everyone, telling us a little about your family, when/how you became a Christian, etc.? 

I'm Kristen Lisemby Lee. I've been married for almost six years and I've been a mom for nearly five of those six years! My husband, Grant, and I have three little ones now and we live in Arkansas, way out in the country. :) I was raised in a strong Christian family and came to know the Lord at the early age of 5. When I was 13 years old, I remember the Lord just convicting my heart to surrender my entire life to Him - all those areas we often don't think of. Thirteen was a big year for me where I just told the Lord that I wanted Him to direct my life; that I wanted Him to be not just my Savior, but my Lord and Master. 

2. You blog at the lovely site, wherejoyis.com. Could you share with us what your passion and purpose is for that site?

 I've been blogging off and on for over 10 years but in 2013, after our second baby was born, I walked through a difficult season in my life. In that period, the Lord really ministered to my heart and let me to Psalm 16:11 which says, "in Thy presence is fulness of joy." I realized - in a completely new and personal way - that joy is always offered to us through the person of Jesus Christ. Joy is not based on circumstances, like happiness is. Joy is resting in the presence of God. I took that and titled my current blog/website Where Joy Is because I desperately need to be reminded that joy is always where Jesus is and I want others to be encouraged and comforted by that as well. 

3. In addition to running a blog ministry for ladies, you are also a wife, a homeschooling Mama of 3 little ones ages four and under, and a homemaker. How do you find the time to do all that? When do you typically do your blog writing and that kind of thing? What does a typical "day in the life" look like for you? 

It's definitely a rare thing to find time! I don't have a definitive schedule because when you have littles, unexpected things are always going on. As a general rule, we will listen to worship music or a podcast while we eat breakfast and then we will head upstairs to do school three days out of the week. During those schooling moments - when one child is working, one child is playing (hopefully!), and another is coloring, I will try to write or study my Bible. As my kiddos get older, I find I have less and less time for various things I enjoy, but I always try to remind myself that my kids are my work and it would be pretty hypocritical and silly for me to reject valuable time with them in order to write about being an attentive and hands-on mom! :) 

4. You have a pretty exciting event coming up this spring. In April, you will be speaking at a weekend retreat for young women. With this heart that you have for young ladies and your desire to minister to them, if you could give just one piece of advice to today's young women, what would it be? 

I am VERY excited about this event in the spring. For years, I have wanted to put together a conference for young women and the Lord has finally opened the door and is making that happen. If I could give one piece of advice to today's young women, it would be to pursue Jesus with everything we have. We are all so very guilty of trying to fit God into our lives instead of basing our lives upon Him. Sometimes we think that because we are Christians, any decision we make automatically has His blessing and so we assume He's tagging along as we go about our day. We don't truly abide in Him. And because of that, we are easily frustrated and confused and discontent. I have to be reminded all the time that I can literally do nothing if Jesus is not my central focus. And so I think it's vitally important for us to understand that although we may be God's people, we MUST run hard after Jesus. We have to pursue Him, thank Him, and allow Him to direct each movement of our lives.

5. Your ministry also centers around wives and edifying and encouraging them. What is one piece of advice you would give to a newly married woman? What is one thing you would do differently if you could start your marriage all over again? 

One of the biggest pieces of advice I could give (and probably the one thing I would steer clear of if I were to start my marriage all over again) would be to not place your husband in the position of Jesus.  As new wives (and maybe veteran wives as well! I don't know yet :) we have a tendency to rely on our husbands more than the Lord. Yes, our husband needs to be needed, but if we aren't careful we can put an overwhelming amount of pressure on him. They weren't created to bear all of our burdens, that's the Lord's job. I do this so often and I always suffer because of it. No man - no human being - can ever truly fulfill us or give us peace. If our man could do all that, we would have no need for Jesus. So don't expect your husband to be God. Don't make him an idol. It's so easy to do.

6. You clearly love being a Mama. What have you found, though, is one of the hardest things about motherhood and what has the Lord taught you through being a Mom? What advice would you give to a brand new Mama? 

The hardest thing, for me, about being a mom is the feeling of isolation. I'm not just a mama, I'm a stay-at-home mama, so I am with my children 24/7. That can get lonely and very, very exhausting on many different levels. So I would say to new moms - make time to refuel. It may mean just locking yourself in the bathroom with your Bible and a chocolate bar for a few minutes! But remember - you can't pour from an empty cup. I have learned since becoming a mother how utterly sinful and lazy I can be and how much I desperately need the power of God to nourish me each day. And what I have found that gives me the most help on the hardest and longest days is having the right perspective; allowing God to remind me that He entrusted these kids to ME, and what they will learn about Him and about salvation and about the Christian life will come from what they see and learn here at home. And there's no way for them to learn the right things if I am not allowing Him to work through me. 

7. What are your favorite little things to do to make your house a home? 

Our home is never Pottery Barn magazine-worthy, but the goal is always for tidiness and order. :) There is often music playing and a candle lit. There may be toys scattered, but ultimately I try to make our house a place we WANT to be - somewhere peaceful and fun.

8. What hospitality tips could you share with us today? 

Growing up, my family didn't often have a lot of company whereas my husband's family always had guests coming over. Over the last few years, I have learned little tips about having company - little things like having snacks and drinks on hand, putting good smelling soap and lotions in the guest bathroom, and always wearing a smile and doing things that would make ME feel welcome if I were the guest.

9. What does your typical quiet time look like? What resources do you use and what are your favorites that you would recommend to other ladies? 

When you are a mommy, you go through different seasons of motherhood - small newborn babies tax your mind and body and leave you sleep deprived, toddlers are always loud and they frequently interrupt, preschoolers start dropping naps. So my quiet times come when I can seize the moment. Sometimes I'm up before the kiddos and I have it then. Other times, while they eat breakfast, I will read my Bible with my coffee. Most of the time, my most beneficial moments with the Lord have been during nap time and then the evenings when my kids are all in bed. I absolutely love my Streams in the Desert devotional and I use eSword all the time (via computer and app). Another thing I deeply love is the audio Bible on my phone. I can listen to God's word or various study plans while I'm driving or doing the dishes or getting ready in the morning. 

10. What Christian resources for kids do you use and recommend to moms? 

We LOVE Scripture songs! We listen to the ABC Bible Memory Verse Songs CD by Mrs. Candace and the Sonbeam choir all the time. And recently we have fallen in love with the Bible Stories and Songs by the Wonder Kids. My oldest, Nathan, can recite several verses through these resources. We are also big fans of the Theo Presents DVD series. It's a fantastic collection of animated stories that teach doctrine on a child's level.

11. Who are some of your favorite authors and which books have you been impacted by the most?

 I love Elisabeth Elliot. Her wisdom and blunt truth is so convicting and inspiring to me. All of her books are fantastic. The Mission of Motherhood and the Ministry of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson are also two favorites. By far, the two most life-impacting books on my bookshelf have been IF by Amy Carmichael and Hind's Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard.

12. The name of your ministry is Where Joy Is Ministries. What are some practical tips you have for us when it comes to infusing joy into our everyday lives right where we are in this season?

 It's easy to lose your joy. David asked the Lord in the Psalms to restore the joy of his salvation to him. It's easy to grow weary and take our eyes off of Jesus and put them on our sorrows or troubles. Something that is helping me is remembering that I have been redeemed and forgiven. We take our salvation for granted sometimes and I have noticed that when I go about my day remembering the grace and love that has been poured out on me, I am more inclined to pursue His presence - and in His PRESENCE there is joy.

13. Are there any certain ministries or blogs you enjoy following? 

I always enjoy the devotionals and blogs from Set Apart Motherhood and Set Apart Girl by Leslie Ludy and I am an avid listener and reader of Revive Our Hearts by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

14. What do you most want to be remembered for? 

My favorite poem/quote is by C.T. Studd which begins with the phrase, "Only one life, t'will soon be past. Only what's done for Christ will last." I want to be remembered as a woman who loved Jesus and whose life was wholly surrendered to Him. I want my children to see God's work and grace in my life and teach it to their children and their children's children. I want to leave behind a testimony that isn't full of compromise or spiritual apathy, but an obvious pursuit of what is eternal.

15. In addition to the young women's retreat coming up in the spring, are there any other exciting ministry projects coming up or ministry endeavors you are currently working on that you would like to share about?

 I have been working on a book for several years and I am hoping and praying to have it FINALLY finished in 2016!

16. If the readers today take away just one overarching lesson from this interview, what would you want it to be?

 Love and trust Jesus - especially in the moments that would be easy to be fearful or doubtful. Hold nothing back in your pursuit of Him.

And now for just some fun little questions to help us get to know you better....

• ​What's your favorite color? Blue - I love all shades but my ultimate favorite is sapphire blue.
• How do you take your coffee? Two packages of equal and some french vanilla creamer!
• What is your favorite way to spend a Saturday? Shopping, reading, and spending time as a family.
• What is your all-time favorite music to listen to? Anything that totally lifts up Christ. I love hymns and songs that are deep and rich in spiritual truth.
• What is one thing you can't leave your house without? My phone. :) 
  
  

Kristen, thank you so, so much for taking the time out of your busy life to share your heart with us! I know I have been encouraged and edified through your answers, and I think you have given all of us a lot to think about! Now I'm going to have to go look up those resources you mentioned! :) God bless!

Ladies, by all means, go check out Kristen's blog, Where Joy Is! 

New "About Me" Video!

In today's vlog, I share a little bit about myself and about my heart, purpose, and vision for the Hargraves Home and Hearth blog! Thanks so much for watching and for joining me in this journey! :)

I have also totally re-vamped the blog's "About Me" page, so go check that out, too! :)

We Now Have a Facebook Group!!!

I have an exciting announcement today!! :) The Hargraves Home and Hearth blog now has a Facebook Group you can join! Please watch to hear the purpose behind this group and what you can expect to find there! :)

My Top 10 Books from 2015!

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**Please note: In the pursuit of full disclosure, this post does contain Amazon Affiliate Links!**

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If you know me, then you know that I am one voracious reader! I have loved reading as far back as I can remember, am well known for reading while brushing my teeth (gotta take full advantage of available reading time, right?? ;) ), and always read at least two or three books at once. 2015 was a year of some exceptionally fantastic book reading for me, and I am so excited to share with you today the top ten best books I read last year, which were such a blessing to me. So, here we go! 

• Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters! by Rachel Macy Stafford

This book was oh-so-good and oh-so-convicting, and I know that I already need to read through it again. I first got the book when Anna-who will be one next week!!-was only about a month old. It is all about coming to grasp with the detrimental affect our addiction to our phones, to technology, to social media, to perfectionism, to our to-do lists, etc. is having on our families and is depriving us of precious moments and memories with them. This book hurts your heart and then heals it all at once. Sadly, I know I need to read it again because of just how strong the pull can be everyday to things such as social media and the like as opposed to unplugging and instead getting down on the floor with my daughter and just playing and having fun with her. If you read one book this year on motherhood and proper priorities, have it be this one! So, so good. 

• One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp

I would have to say that of all the books I read this year, even the great books in this list, One Thousand Gifts takes the cake and can be given the title of "The Best Ever Book I read in 2015"! It is that good. If you could snag a sneak peak inside my copy, you would find brackets after brackets, tons of underlining, stars, and notes upon notes on just about every page. No other book spoke quite as powerfully to me in 2015 as did this one. So, what is it about? Written by a woman who has struggled with so much sadness and trial at various times in her life, a past of panic attacks, and who is a worrier by nature, One Thousand Gifts is about slowing down, looking around, and finding the little gifts the Lord graces us with each and every day of our lives-no matter what we are currently going through. It addresses issues such as: How can I love, trust, and embrace a God who allows bad things to happen?, How can I enjoy life right where I am in this hard moment?, How do I slow down and savor the everyday?, Is God trustworthy?, Why does He allow bad things to happen if He is such a loving God and in control of all things?, and much more. If you are looking for some much-needed encouragement or simply some tools to fight worry and anxiety and busyness in your life, then look no further! Get this book! Today! It is a must-read for sure. It will change your life!

• One Thousand Gifts Devotional: Reflections on Finding Everyday Graces by Ann Voskamp

This is the companion devotional to the book One Thousand Gifts and is such a great tool for infusing beauty, joy, and grace into your every day. While One Thousand Gifts itself is made up of full-length chapters, the devotional is comprised of 60 short 2-3 page devotionals with room to write prayers or to journal at the end of each one. This devotional would be the perfect tool for you to start each day off right! It contains snippets from One Thousand Gifts as well as completely new material, all designed to get your mind focused on the Lord and the goodness and beauty all around you each day. It is a great way to bring the truths of One Thousand Gifts fresh to your mind again, and to have it impact you day after day, long after you have finished reading the original book (though, really, One Thousand Gifts is one of those books which should be read at least once each year, I think!).

• The Greatest Gift: Unwrapping the Full Love Story of Christmas by Ann Voskamp

Can you see that I became a huge Ann Voskamp fan this year? ;)  I read this gem of a book this Christmas season, and let me tell you-it blessed my socks off! It is compiled of a daily reading from the Bible, a 2-3 page devotional, a daily quote and daily action point, and three questions to contemplate, for each day starting December 1 and going through December 25. It shows how the story of Christmas started way back at the beginning, before Adam and Eve ever sinned, and how, even before the fall, the Lord had us on His mind and was forming a plan to come for us, rescue us, save us, and love us. It is so touching and eye-opening as it traces the story and plan of Advent down through the OT stories of Adam and Eve, Noah, Jonah, Abraham, Rahab, and others. It encourages us and equips us with practical ways to slow down, savor, and soak up each moment of the Christmas season, to let go of the need for perfection and pinterest-perfect Christmases, and puts our focus and perspective where it should be-on the Lord and how, through Him, we might serve those around us at Christmas time and always. By all means consider getting this book before December 2016 and reading through it this Christmas season!

• Jonah: Navigating a Life Interrupted (Bible Study Book) by Priscilla Shirer

If you are familiar with the amazing, amazing (I literally cannot say enough good about it!) 2015 movie from Sherwood Pictures, War Room, then you are already familiar with fantastic Bible study teacher, Priscilla Shirer. She is the author of numerous books including the companion full-length book to the Jonah study, entitled Life Interrupted: Navigating the Unexpected. To be honest, I have not quite yet finished this Bible study, but since I did start it and read through the majority of it in 2015, I just had to include it in this list. Let's face it-life is unexpected sometimes and filled with wrenches thrown into our plans, unforeseen happenings, etc. If you are currently being unexpectedly faced with some new trial, tragedy, hard time, role, or priority that you did not plan for, then you need this book. Even if you are not currently finding yourself in that type of situation, you still would benefit from this great book, because your life may very well get interrupted in 2016! You will be greatly encouraged and given a fresh vision and perspective for this new plan the Lord has for your life. 

• Creative Counterpart : Becoming the Woman, Wife, and Mother You Have Longed To Be by Linda Dillow

This book should be on the shelf of every Christian wife and mother, and is another one that I plan to read through again. It covers everything from the beauty of God's blueprint and plan for womanhood, what a Christian woman's priorities are to be and their proper order, how to be your husband's creative lover and greatest fan, and so, so much more. It also includes a Bible study and Bible reading plan in the back. Grab a copy of this book, ladies, and watch your marriage and family positively transform as you put into practice its Biblical principles!

• Delight-Full: 31 Days to a Happier Baby . . . And Wholehearted Motherhood by Kate E. Collins

This is one of the books I read during those many middle-of-the-night feeding sessions way back when Anna was a newborn, and it is certainly one I will be returning to again and again throughout my mothering journey. It is comprised of 31 short essays, each with a recommended action point at the end. It covers topics such as savoring everything about your baby, talking to your baby, feathering your nest with love, filling your heart with peace, recording the moments of love and laughter, holding tight to your baby's hand and heart, being the best Mama God uniquely created you to be, and cultivating contentment. I believe it would be a great blessing and inspiration to any Mama's heart!

• Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic

This is another book I read during those many middle-of-the-night feeding sessions with newborn Anna, and is on my "to-read again and again" list, as well. It's a short little read of many quick, easy-to-read essays, but is bursting with an abundance of wisdom and godly perspective when it comes to motherhood and all its stretching, sometimes overwhelming, and yet wonderful responsibilities. Be refreshed and have your vision renewed as you read about being a gracious Mama, me time, cranky children, when characteristics your child is portraying sound off the alarm bells, how the fruits of the spirit apply to your parenting, and much more. This book definitely belongs on every Mama's shelf, as well. Written by a mama of -at the time- six little ones, it's a treasure from someone who knows what it's like to feel overwhelmed and to need encouragment as a Mama!

• Say Goodbye to Survival Mode: 9 Simple Strategies to Stress Less, Sleep More, and Restore Your Passion for Life by Crystal Paine

This book should probably be at the top of your to-read list, as reading and implementing its wise, practical tips now will wonderfully transform the rest of your year! I read it back in November and am so glad I did, as it prepared, inspired, and drove me to have a productive, intentional 2016. It is chock-full of great, super helpful ways to determine what to say yes to and what to say no to in this new year, what your priorities ought to be and how to focus on them, how to make to-do lists and goals for your day, week, month, and year for every aspect of your life, how to stop trying to do it all by saying yes only to the best, how to be intentional with your bank account, manage the home front well, make a difference, and how to kick-start your success and not feel like a failure. I highly recommend it! Another thing I love about it is how Crystal shares with us her background story in it, how she has struggled with all of these issues herself, what she has learned, and how it has changed her life for the better. Super helpful for all wives and mamas, homemakers, bloggers, and home business owners, especially!

• Advent: Born is the King by She Reads Truth

This, along with The Greatest Gift, was a study I did with a friend of mine this Christmas, and I am so glad I did! Through the lives of several OT folks such as Adam, Abel, Abraham, Esther, and Jonah, it shows how each of those OT characters were foreshadowings of Christ and how He was the truer and better of each of those people. The final week in the 4 week study centers around the characteristics of Christ Himself, and all that He is for us. This was such an eye-opening study and brought such meaning to my Christmas in 2015. Highly, highly recommended! All of the daily readings from the 28 days are free at the She Reads Truth website and app, but there is also a workbook that can be purchased, too, which is what my friend and I chose to get. Definitely consider getting it for yourself for Christmas 2016! It will revolutionize how you view Christmas and Advent and will truly bless your December!

Well, that is it, ladies! Those are the top ten books I read in 2015. :) I truly believe you would be greatly blessed through reading them for yourself, and highly encourage you to consider doing so! 

Thanks so much for reading, and be sure to check back at the end of this month, at which time I will be sharing with you the books I read in January! :) 

And, finally, were there certain books you read last year which changed your life for the better? Please share them with me in the comments section-I'm always on the lookout for more great books! :) 

Today's Vlog: A Recap of "5 Tips for Girls in the Throes of Wedding Planning"

In today's vlog, I break down a blog article I wrote back in 2014 and share with you 5 wedding planning tips I shared with a reader who had written in to ask for advice. Please be sure to share with all your engaged friends! I hope it really helps. :)smile emoticon As always, thank you so much for watching!

New Vlog: My Word, Verse, and Bible Reading Plan for the New Year!

It is New Year's Eve, and today's vlog is all about 2016!! :) Watch to find out what my word is for 2016, hear about a great verse to meditate on as we enter the new year, and more info about the Bible reading plan I will be following, starting tomorrow! 

Do you have a word for the New Year or something else you would like to share about your goals or thoughts for the New Year? I would love to hear all about them, so leave a comment! :)

Vlog: A Christmas Message for Busy Mamas

Are you feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and anxious this Christmas season? Are you a busy Mama trying to do it all and be it all, in order to make this Christmas special for your family? I know how you feel! I know what it's like to be staring at a never-ending to-do list that stems from a desire to be "perfect"! And with that in mind, I want to share my heart with you today, in the hopes that something I say might be an encouragement to you and be used to make a change for the better for your family this Christmas. God bless you! And Merry Christmas!




*Quick sidenote- no babies were harmed in the making of this video! lol When I first started filming, my daughter was napping. About halfway through the video, you may be able to hear her in the background beginning to cry. She sometimes does that, wakes up for a second or two, and then falls back to sleep. But by the end of the video, it became obvious to me she was, in fact, ready to get up. At first I wasn't going to post this video, but instead re-do it during her next nap. Then I thought, you know, I'm just going to be real! haha I'm a Mom living real life. And sometimes that means your little one wakes up in the middle of your video! ;) No worries, though-as soon as the camera clicked off, I went to check on her, and she was all bubbly and happy, ready to get up from her nap. :) Just thought I would share that quick note to allay any fears out there! ;)




Oh! One point I failed to make in the video-instead of making this list of allllll these different things you feel like you must do in order to make Christmas special for our families, maybe you could do this instead: sit down with your family and ask each family member what dish, what tradition, what craft, etc. is most important to them and is the main thing in each of these areas which makes Christmas special for them, and just do those. It could be that a lot of the things on your to-do list which you think you must do in order to make things great for them is actually something that they could do without and may not have much of an interest in after all. So, ask away, and in so doing, not only will you know exactly how to make Christmas special for your family, but you will also be able to cross off a lot of other unimportant things from your to-do list and may find yourself breathing a little easier this Christmas season! :)

First Vlog!! :)

I am so excited!! :) I've been wanting to add a vlog aspect to Hargraves Home and Hearth for quite a while now, but just finally got around to actually pursuing and starting it! Here's my first attempt at a vlog for this blog. Enjoy! ;)

Oh, and please subscribe to my channel on YouTube! :)

10 Practical Tips for Putting Your Husband First

     Articles abound today on the topic of putting your husband first. On the one hand you have the sad, misinformed, unfortunate articles which speak to the idea that your kids come first and that's just the way it has to be when they're young. On the flip side you have the very helpful, spot-on articles which speak to the fact that we, as wives, ought always to put our husbands first, and in so doing, provide a foundation of security for our children. Not many articles, though, exist on the topic of HOW to make this happen. How, practically speaking, do we put our husbands first in the midst of daily demands, duties, and deadlines? What is the mantra of "putting your husband first" supposed to look like when you, as a wife and mama, are in the thick of dirty diapers, temper tantrums, loads and loads of laundry, cooking duties, cleaning schedules, and the like? Here are a few practical tips which I hope will help to paint a picture for you of what this could look like in your own home, and how you can express, in a tangible, visible way, that your husband comes first on your list of importance and priority (second only to God, of course!).

10 Practical Tips for Putting Your Husband First

• Defer to him in the area of parenting.

In some ways, this tip will be the most controversial, but perhaps also the most important, so we'll start here. As Mamas, particularly if we are stay-at-home Mamas, we are largely responsible for the majority of the childcare day in and day out. As such, we research what is best for our kids on a multitude of topics from co-sleeping, vaccinations, and breastfeeding to what kind of diapers to use, how to handle tantrums, and how to enforce obedience and discipline disobedience. Because of this, combined with our "motherly instincts", we can quickly adopt the idea that we know way more than our husbands when it comes to the rights and wrongs of child-rearing. And perhaps, in some areas, this is true! However, this does not do away with the command God gave us as wives to submit to our husbands in all things (Ephesians 5:22, Colossians 3:18). It clearly states "in all things", not just in the areas where you believe your husband is more wise than you or more knowledgeable or more capable of making an informed decision. No, unless our husbands are calling us to sin in some way, we are to submit to them in all areas of our lives, and this includes parenting decisions! I'll never forget the day I came across an article, the title of which stated that your 3 year old would benefit from still sleeping in your bed, and that your husband would just have to get over it. Ummm, excuse me, no he does not (this would be a sure-fire way to make him susceptible to temptation, by the way!). There may be perks to co-sleeping with your baby, but if at any time your husband is over it and ready to have his wife and his bed back, it is up to you as his wife to submit to him in that! When our daughter, Anna, was born, we bought a little baby bed for her that was made to put in our bed, so she slept in that for the first 6 weeks. She was in bed with us and close to us, but was kept safe from us rolling over onto her, etc. As the weeks went by, it became clear to me, though he didn't say a whole lot on the topic and never forced it, that Owen was ready for us to have our bed back. So, as hard and sentimental as it was at first, I decided when she was 6 weeks old that we really needed to move her from our bed into her cradle that was beside our bed. We did that, and though I was a little emotional about it that first night, it was such a blessing! It brought Owen and I closer together again, and we were able to enjoy actually sleeping beside each other again and not separated by a baby bed in between us! If you and your husband together have made the decision to co-sleep, fine! Go for it! But if it is something you want and your husband does not, it's time to make a change. Another practical application of this would be in the area of vaccinations. I am staunchly against vaccines and have decided, together with my husband and his blessing, not to have our daughter vaccinated. But here's the thing-if my husband woke up tomorrow morning with the overwhelming feeling that we should vaccinate Anna, it would be up to me to (after respectfully presenting my case, asking about the option for a delayed schedule, etc.) schedule the appointment for the vaccinations. I pray we would never face a hard disagreement and hard decision like that, but if we did, it would be up to me to trust my husband's decision, the Lord's leading of him, and the role God gave to me to submit to my husband's leadership. There is nothing wrong with sharing our parenting knowledge with our husbands when they disagree with us, sharing why we feel strongly the way we do, etc. But at the end of the day, the responsibility to lead the family rests with our husbands and the responsibility to submit rests with us.

• Have regular date nights.

This is so, so important! Our daughter was born on January 11 of this year, and two months later, our first anniversary was fast approaching. It was obvious my husband wanted to take me out to celebrate, and I definitely wanted to go! It would be the first date we had had since having our daughter, and would be such a special occasion for us to celebrate. But as much as I wanted to go, New Mommy thoughts kept running through my head, Is this ok? Is it ok for me to leave my young daughter with someone else so that I can go out with my husband? It wasn't long and I realized that not only was there nothing wrong with going, but that it would be a very good thing for me to go! That night, that special time to get away and celebrate our marriage, was such a blessing and we decided then and there that we needed that! We made the decision to be intentional about having regular date nights and, for us, that meant once a month. So, now, once a month we leave Anna and all her accoutrements with her grandparents, aunt and uncle, or close family friend, and Owen and I leave on our pre-planned out date, and love every minute of it! I cannot encourage you enough to do the same! Depending on what stage of marriage and parenting you are in, this may mean once a week, once a month, or once a quarter. But whatever it is, plan it, mark the calendar, and do what you have to do to make it happen! If you don't have family close by to babysit your little ones, perhaps "barter" with friends from church-have them watch your kids so you can go out and then watch their kids another day so they can go out. Whatever it is you have to do, be intentional and do your best to do it. Also remember to make dates out of your time at home! Regularly make a habit of getting the kiddos to bed early so that you can have some much-needed couple time. Remember-your marriage is to come first, regardless of what stage of parenting you are in. Actively and intentionally keeping your marriage first will not only benefit you and your spouse, but will provide a sure, secure environment for your children to grow up in. We as Mamas and Daddies are to be leading our children by example and they need to be able to look at us and know that when they grow up and get married, they ought always to put their spouse and marriage first.

• Seek his preferences as to your list of priorities.

Mamas have so much on their to-do lists-everything from childcare to cooking to laundry to cleaning to grocery shopping and menu planning tends to fall on their shoulders (though I must say here that I have an amazing husband who steps in and gets things done when he can tell I need help; he's a blessing!). With all the tasks that can take up our time, energy, and attention on any given day, it can seem impossible to, practically-speaking, keep our husbands first. But here is one great way to do that, one which I implemented with my own husband just the other day:

1. Make a list of all the things you have to do on any given day/week (i.e. laundry, cooking, childcare)
2. Show your husband the list and ask him to prioritize those things in order from most important to him to least important (i.e. Does he want a home-cooked meal each evening? Does he want you to be a couponer? Does he appreciate ironed shirts? Does he want you to be the one to do the dishes?, etc.) 
3. Follow through!

Doing this will free your time up from those things which you thought important for you to do or which you thought he expected of you, to where you can instead focus on what would truly bless him the most, and in the end, likely have more free time than you expected! This will be a double blessing to your husband, for it will show him that you care about his preferences and will also leave you with more time to devote to him!

• Make his homecoming at the end of each day something special.

I don't know about you, but I can fall into the trap of shouting the "Hello, honey!" from across the room or down the hall when my husband gets home. But let's be intentional in making our homes a place of haven and rest for our husbands, so that they are itching to get home at the end of the day. We can do so, in part, by doing our best to daily stop what we were doing when they got home and greet our men at the door with open arms, a joyful smile, an inviting kiss, and the knowledge that we love and adore them, have missed them, and are thrilled they have returned home. Also, perhaps train your children to expect you to receive the first few moments of Daddy's undivided attention upon his return home. Train them to give that to you and then they can bombard him with hugs and kisses of their own afterwards. All the while, you will, again, be training your children to know what a marriage should look like.

• Train your kids to honor their Daddy.

Again, we lead by example. We train by example. So, honor your husband and in so doing, train your children to honor him. Make it clear, gently, lovingly, and kindly, that the world does not revolve around them. Instead help them to focus on Daddy and to brainstorm ways in which they, too, can show their love, honor, and esteem for him. This will bless your husband and show him that he is important to you and to the kids-that the home does not revolve around the children and their desires foremost. 

• Learn all you can about his likes and dislikes. 

What is your husband's favorite meal? His favorite drink? His favorite dessert? His favorite music? His favorite way to take his coffee? Do you know? If not, ask him! If so, make them for him, have that music playing when he gets home, etc. What are his least favorite foods? Don't make a habit to cook them! ;) I love water chestnuts, but they make my husband sick at the thought of them. So, as much as I love them, I refrain from using them in my cooking. This is a simple little thing, but it can speak volumes of love and my husband's importance in my eyes! Make it a habit to study your husband and know how he feels about things.

• Ask his opinions; don't rush ahead of him!

As women, we tend to have our own plans, things we want to do, places we want to go, etc. And there is nothing wrong with that. But we need to make it a habit to seek our husband's opinion and advice on these things and not race ahead of him. We need to take into account our husband's own plans and desires, too! 

• Rest when you can so you will feel refreshed when he comes home.

This largely goes along with asking your husband about your priorities, but it bears repeating. Take time to be intentional about getting rest during the day if you need it. Women have so much to do during the day, that it can be easy to have our energy zapped by it all, to where we don't have much energy left for our husbands at the end of the day. It shouldn't be this way, though! Our husbands should never come in second to our to-do lists (unless, of course, it's a list of things he wants us to do!). So, take time to nap when the kids nap or rest a bit while they play, so that you can feel more refreshed when your husband comes home. 

• Let him know he's on your mind.

Let him know that, even among the busyness that is your daily life, he is on your mind. Text him little flirty notes, include love notes to him in his lunch bag, etc. Never let him doubt that he is important to you and that you love him and think about him often!

• Brainstorm ways to be a better helper, even more suitable to your unique husband.

We as women were created to be helpmeets to our husbands. That's one of the reasons why it is so sad when I see women placing motherhood and their children ahead of marriage and their husbands. Motherhood is important and children are a blessing, but I think sometimes we, especially in homeschooling circles, place the truth that children are a blessing so far in the forefront of our minds that we can tend to forget that we were not first and foremost created to be mothers. That was not the reasoning behind the Lord's creating us. No, first and foremost the reason God created us was in order to provide our husbands with a helper (Genesis 2:18, 1 Corinthians 11:9). We need to remember this. We also need to remember, though, that there is no one-size-fits-all method for how, specifically, to do this. There are helpful, practical tips and principles that each couple across the board can follow and implement, but the exact way in which they implement them will look different sometimes, and that is ok! The main thing is that we, as wives, place our husbands and our role as helpmeet first. But how that looks in each individual marriage is going to be different, because the needs of each husband are as diverse as their looks. I love how Genesis 2:18 is worded. Depending on the version you're reading, it may say, "a help meet for him" or "suitable for him". In other words, you need to be the helpmate your particular husband needs you to be. You need to be meet for him or suitable for him uniquely. That's why it is important to study your own husband and learn what he does and does not need and want and prefer. Make it your mission to be a student of your husband and learn all you can about him as you go through marriage. This practice will reap many blessings for your whole family!

In Conclusion

     I hope this article has been helpful for you. Please understand that it is perfectly normal for things to look a little different depending on the phase in life you are in (i.e. if you have a newborn who needs to eat often, you may not get dinner for your husband on the table every night right at 6pm, and that's ok!). It's a heart-thing first and foremost. Where is your heart? Does it desire to put your husband first and make him feel like the most important person in your world? Then take that wonderful desire and apply it as best you can in your current season of life. You, your husband, and your children will be glad you did! 

New Poll: Feelings Regarding Your Postpartum Body

As a new first-time mom, I have several article ideas floating around in my head right now concerning motherhood, the postpartum period, pregnancy, etc. One of these such articles is one I will be writing shortly entitled "Coming to Terms with Your Postpartum Body".

In preparation for this, I have posted 2 new polls related to this topic that are located on the right of your screen. I would love to hear from you, so please be sure to vote in both of them. If you want to elaborate on your answer, by all means leave a comment below!

Looking forward to hearing from y'all! :)

~Mrs. Rebekah Hargraves

One Month Old!

 On Wednesday, February 11th, our precious girl turned one month!

It's so hard to believe this sweet baby who has already brought such joy to our lives is already a month old! 

Here are some fun facts about Miss Anna from her one month birthday:

• Smiles up a storm! She is a very happy baby, particularly first thing in the morning. :) She definitely takes after her morning person father in that way and did not get that form me! ;)

• Is already making adorable little sounds. They're few and far between right now, but have been increasing by the day it seems. It'll be super cute once she really starts cooing! 

• Is wearing a few newborn clothes but mostly 0-3. Because brands differ so much in sizing, she can also wear some 3 month.

• Has reached the 10 pound mark already! She was born at 8 pounds, 6 ounces and went down to 7 pounds, 12 ounces in the days following birth, but has since become quite the chunky little monkey. :)

• Has been amazing when it comes to her days and nights! Other than the first night or so, she hasn't had them mixed up! We swaddle her in her little swaddle outfit/blanket thing (because from the first day she could kick out of a regular blanket!) and she sleeps soundly. So soundly, in fact, that I have to wake her up in the middle of the night to feed her! And let's just say, sometimes she is quite hard to wake up! No wonder the little one is so happy in the morning-she is quite rested by the time morning comes! ;) Anna has been so good at night that I worry that our second baby will be the complete opposite and refuse to sleep at night! :0

• Eats every 2-3 hours during the day and every 3-4 at night. 

• Wears size 1 diapers

• Loves to fall asleep on Mommy or Daddy's chest. She's a good snuggler! :)

• Is content to be held by anybody, so far anyway, which is great, because she is quite the popular little girl! 

• Has fingernails that grow like crazy! We had to clip her nails as soon as she was born and we have to do so regularly now, too. It must be the prenatals I'm on or something!

• Is a very good natured little girl. She only cries when she's hungry or sleepy or sometimes when we change her (though not often then). There hasn't really been a time yet where she has cried and we've wondered why. We're so proud of her!

 Our little lady already cares about the look of her nails. ;) teehee

And there you have it! :) 

Introducing......

Anna Katherine Hargraves :)

Born at home on Sunday, January 11th, 2015 at 6:42am

8 pounds, 6 ounces and 21 1/8 inches long!

More pics to follow soon! :)

Calling All Readers!

Don't forget to vote in the poll on the right side of your screen! :)

Pregnancy Update!!! (Yes, FINALLY! ;) )

Whew, it's been a while since I visited this little blog of mine. So sorry for my absence! Let me get you caught up to date! :) Remember the post from way-back-when (i.e. May!) when I announced that we were expecting? Well, I am now 31 weeks along, believe it or not!! I, for one, cannot for the life of me believe that we are 9 or so weeks away from meeting our precious little Baby Hargraves! :)

So, here's a little of what we've been up to as of late. :)

Pregnancy Symptoms

Oy vey, have I ever had every pregnancy symptom in the book, it seems!! 

During the first trimester, these consisted of:

• terrible, terrible all-day "morning" sickness (I lost 4 pounds from all the nausea, vomiting, and food aversions during this time!)
• constipation
• heartburn (this came as a real surprise to me-I thought I would be spared this issue until late pregnancy when my digestive organs were all overly crowded. But, nope, thanks to the little hormone progesterone, heartburn raged for weeks during my first trimester (usually at night when I was trying to sleep)
• nasal sensitivity (This was crazy! Even my poor husband stank to me. It was weird!)

During my second trimester, I experienced:

• Continued digestive issues and vomiting at times (though much reduced, thanks to phenergan and a comprehensive digestive enzyme)
• Lower back aches (These have since largely gone away even though I am now larger, thanks to my sweet husband and his awesome back rubs! I now only have back pain when I do a lot of leaning over, such as to clean the tub)
• Restless legs/leg cramps (I had one night where I literally got no sleep, due to an incredibly annoying dull ache in my legs. Now that I'm taking this great magnesium powder regularly, these issues have gone away)
• Headaches (my amazingly awesome midwife suggested I apply a drop of lavender essential oil to both temples, and it worked! No more pregnancy headaches! :) )

At 31 weeks, I am now about 3 weeks into my third trimester, and am currently experiencing:

• Exhaustion! I get so, so tired during the day, and just have to crash sometimes. There are literally times when it's all I can do to keep my eyes open! But, thankfully, I'm still sleeping pretty well at night, too, and not dealing with the pregnancy insomnia I've heard so much about. I feel guilty for taking naps so often, but as my mom pointed out, if I'm sleeping well at night and still this tired sometimes during the day, my body obviously needs the extra rest. After all, it takes a lot of energy to grow a human! ;) 
• Stretch marks and itchy belly (I know that scratching those itches makes the stretch marks worse, supposedly, but, boy, there are just times when you need some relief!! ;) I am applying an all-natural anti-stretch mark, moisturizing belly lotion as often as I think to, but I have several stretch marks already. The funny thing is, they are all in front down low, beneath my belly button. I expected them along my sides, but so far-none there.)
• Nose bleeds (I'm sorry if this is getting too personal, but hey-these symptoms are real, ladies! lol And if you're expecting and going through this, I at least want you to not feel alone! ;) ) 
• Lots and lots of movement! :) Our little one is an active little bugger! And I love it. :) 

Now, how about some picture updates? :) We've been chronicling the growth of my baby bump every few weeks or so. Here is what we have so far:

You've seen this one before:

5 1/2 weeks along

Ultrasound at 6 weeks, 6 days. :) Our little one already had a heart rate of 139 beats per minute. :)

Baby Bump at 15 weeks

18 weeks

22 weeks

 We took this picture the day before my ultrasound at 21 weeks, when we would find out whether we had been blessed with a boy or girl. :)

Our precious, sweet, adorable, perfect little baby GIRL!!!!! :D :D :D We had been wanting a girl so badly! :) And, ever since finding out it was for sure a girl (Ok, I'll be honest-even before we knew!), Owen regularly sings Dean Martin's "Daddy's Little Girl" to Anna. It's always such a precious moment. :) And Anna has lately been moving to whichever side her Daddy is on when he begins to sing. :)

How we made the announcement on Facebook :)

Baby Hargraves is Anna Katherine! :)

24 weeks (and I swear the camera added 10 pounds!)

27 weeks

And, at last-31 weeks. :) This picture was taken Sunday. I have gained a total of 23 pounds so far, and they like you to aim for 25-35, so I would say, so far so good in that area!

What we've been up to lately:

• Attending Bradley Method birthing classes each Monday night. These are awesome classes which focus on educating mom and dad as to what is going on during pregnancy, labor, and delivery, what to expect, exercises for Mom to do to prepare for labor and delivery, and all-natural methods to deal with the pain of childbirth, such as different relaxation techniques, etc. The Bradley Method focuses on equipping the husband and father to be the birthing coach and a great help to Mama as she goes through labor, and finally, delivery. We're really enjoying these classes, and I have to say-I have been blessed with one awesome coach! Owen is totally on board with everything, reminds me to do my exercises (and has been known to do them with me! ;) ), gives me awesome practice massages each night to help us nail down the relaxation technique we're working on in that week, etc. He's an awesome husband, and will be a terrific father. 

En route to our first Bradley class! Can't believe we're already on week 6 of 12! It's going by so quickly! The "big day" will be here before we know it!!

• Registering!

One of Owen's favorite parts of wedding planning was doing the wedding registries. We had so much fun together, and he would get so excited every time we would go register. Well, it's much the same this time around with baby registering! :) He makes everything fun, and this was no different. :) Crazy fact: this time last year was when we were registering for our wedding! Little did we know what the Lord had in store for us at the time! ;)

And, that's that! Check back soon for more updates, and in 9 or so weeks, you can join us in welcoming our little Anna Katherine Hargraves into the world. :)


Blessings,
Mrs. Hargraves